I got chris browned last night
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
