Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize