Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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