She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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