According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize