We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
