Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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