Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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