Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
is that a dick in a sweater?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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