Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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