careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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