He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
