I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize