escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
