this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
