did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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