I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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