What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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