idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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