I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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