spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
