So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
