god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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