im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
