He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I believe in your delicious
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
