Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize