All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
