Pappa wants mamma naked
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
