We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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