You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Floor bacon is actually really good
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
