A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
