We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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