I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
