I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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