Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize