That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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