I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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