You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
