I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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