a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
