The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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