Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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