Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
