Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
