remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
