You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
