Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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