GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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