proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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