I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
