i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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