Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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