Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
