Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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