Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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