Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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