sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
