Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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