All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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