You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
