Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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