im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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